previous : next

2. EXT. MEGAMALL BUILDING B – LATE AFTERNOON

HABAGAT, young, handsome defender of the people, ridiculously muscled in his skin-tight spandex, is powerless.

He is powerless, the yellow, black, and red of him; the yellow-- from the waist up; black-- the waist down; and red-- boots, cape, the world-famous icon on his broad chest (the head of an eagle) and bracers, the last two forged of some magickal metal the color of fire, of blood.

He is powerless, this celebrated champion, trapped atop the concrete canopy of the walkway leading away from the entrance to the mall, twisted metal girders pinning his wrists, biceps, ankles, and thighs, to the base of the massive billboard for Sandali Na Lang, Nandiyan Na Ako.[1]

Habagat strains mightily, biceps bulging, muscles cording, but all for naught.

His awesome strength is gone, absorbed by an anting-anting worn by the evil SUSPIRIA, Habagat's arch-enemy (and rival for the affections of intrepid newscaster for Channel 8, LALAINE LUSTRE).

Habagat despairs (handsomely, of course), and he hangs his head, his profile heroically downcast.

Suddenly, he hears a familiar voice from the massive videowall outside Building A (which has been tuned to the Channel 8 newsteam's coverage of Suspiria's rampage on Malacanang-- property damage currently running at the cost of millions of pesos; the villain's attack on the nation's seat of power, using the stolen powers of its very own champion, the mighty-- but now defeated-- Habagat), and he raises his head, his jaw set, his eyes focused.

Lalaine!

The camera is shaky, a shot obviously being taken on the fly, and Habagat sees Malacanang aflame!

What Lalaine is saying is lost to the immobilized hero, for he sees the dastardly Suspiria blasting Malacanang Palace with the fiery eye-beams that are his. Suspiria is using his own powers to destroy everything the great hero believes in.

No!

Habagat's jaw is now granite. It is marble, his eyes cold and set. He will escape. He will defeat Suspiria.

For the people!

For the Philippines!

The hero flexes his muscles anew and the strain is plainly evident.

The metal girders begin to creak, and Habagat doubles his efforts, knowing that if the power truly belongs to him, then it can never be stolen.

Like the Filipino's dignity; the Filipino's pride.

He will prevail!

And the metal girders bend, then shatter, and just for an instant, all of Habagat's muscles are etched in sharp relief, as if in the highest of high definitions, and the hero's figure is surely what Da Vinci must have imagined with his Vitruvian Man; the ideal man, the perfect physical specimen, and undeniable proof of God's artistry.

Habagat holds that sublime pose of beefcake heaven for a beat, before a Voice booms from on high.

And the Voice says:

“CUT!”

----- * 0 * -----

1 Sandali Na Lang, Nandiyan Na Ako is the very last movie made by Constance Eusebio, where she played a brilliant concert pianist whose rival poisons her with a chemical which causes her fingers to become permanently gnarled and crooked, forcing her to learn how to play the piano with her forehead and nose.

Re-issued, post-mortem, to astounding box office success, word has quickly spread about a possible English-language remake by Crassney, with Jodie Foster attached to star and direct. [back]

previous : next