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REEL THREE
There were so many ways to feed.
All of them delicious.
-- Kelley Wilde, Mastery
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FADE IN:
12. INT. JOLLIBEE PLAZA – JOANNA DELGADO’S OFFICE – EARLY AFTERNOON
“So, eto yung pitch.”
This, coming from PRIETO ALVAREZ—or maybe, his writing partner, JUNJI AGONCILLO. It’s difficult for Joanna to tell them apart, even though they’re not related, and don’t really resemble each other all that much. But it’s almost as if the energy they both run off of, like speed freaks, makes them somehow interchangeable, electrons replacing each other in a tag team frenzy as they whiz around and around and around.
They’ve written a number of well-received Habagat scripts, and claim to have a new idea that will Change the Face of Philippine Television.
“We heard kasi that Bruckheimer was planning to turn CSI into an international franchise, so we thought…” Junji (or Prieto) trails off, and Joanna can almost hear the drum roll, as if mentally projected to her by the duo.
“CSI: Manila!” they both say in unison.
Joanna frowns. “But… our crime labs aren’t as sophisticated as the ones in the States.” And, in her head, Do we even have crime labs?
“Exactly!”
Joanna sees a globule of spittle catapult from the speaker’s mouth (she’s given up trying to differentiate them), imagining it suspended, frozen in the air, magnified, like a meteor of disgusting, bubbly sputum, her mind’s eye moving around it in CSI bullet-time (then a DNA test could tell her if it was Junji or Prieto).
“Di, at the start of each episode pa lang, after the discovery of the vic, may tension na kaagad! `Where are we going to find lab space? May microscope ba tayo? Magnifying glass na lang! `Yan, Johnson’s Baby Powder para sa fingerprints!’”
“Product placement kaagad!”
“Yayaman tayo, Joanna!” wide grin, enthusiastic two thumbs up, “Ka-ching!”
Joanna’s frown deepens. “But I’m not a producer, guys. Ba’t pi-ni-pitch ninyo `to sa akin?”
“Kasi,” cute smile, “we were hoping that Luis would be interested in playing the lead.”
“But Luis is young. Aren’t the CSI leads older, usually?”
“`Yun yung difference natin. CSI: Manila will be hotter. Hipper. Parang when the Star Trek franchise tried to sex things up with Enterprise.”
“The lead character is a Pinoy protégé of Grissom, who comes back to the Philippines to help his country by struggling to modernize our investigative techniques.”
“He comes back to the Philippines to visit his dying grandfather, and by his lolo’s deathbed, he promises na tutulungan niya yung Pilipinas. Swak sa drama!”
“And it doesn’t have to be a long-term commitment. Kung ayaw ni Luis ng isa pang regular TV show, puwede natin gawing parang sa Lost, when it was originally supposed to be Michael Keaton to play the doctor--“
“Si Jack.”
“-- and the character was supposed to be killed off at the end of the two-hour pilot.”
“Puwedeng ganoon!”
“Tapos, if Luis is willing to return for guest spots, he can come back as the character’s twin brother, na CSI-trained din, pero hindi siya protégé ni Grissom, so, kung sakaling mag-ge-guest star si William Petersen, conflict!”
“Yes! Conflict!”
“Or, if you think laos na yung twin-twin, puwede parang sa Six Feet Under, when the dead Daddy talks to the other characters.”
“Puwede din, para we can imply na baka talagang ghost yung character, so we can get into the whole Asian horror thing pa!”
“Oo! CSI meets Ringu! May potential!”
“Then--“
Suddenly, Joanna’s phone rings, and though she doesn’t recall having watched any cursed videotape recently (though she gladly would to escape the Prieto/Junji show), answers it.
She is aware of the duo feverishly mumbling to each other, no doubt elaborating upon their pitch, but her focus is turned entirely to the phone.
When she hangs up, she is pale and shaken.
“Sorry, boys, I have to go.”
“Ah, okay.”
“Sige. ‘Yun rin naman na yung gist, e.”
“Get back to us.”
Joanna’s responses are automatic. All she can think of with any degree of clarity are the words she heard over the phone: “Luis collapsed during taping. He’s in the hospital.”
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